Never liked the name,
No one of importance was ever called Anna.
So when he first mentioned her.
Cared less, since she's just an Anna.
More than 13 years have passed,
And now I know an Anna,
No one of importance still,
But she thinks she's a Diana.
Oh Let her live, cause I live,
In being anyone and anything but an Anna.
Something to avoid, a foul to miss.
I will even accept being a Hannah.
She might have took what once was mine,
But I won't do it to another woman, not Ana!
No one of importance has ever held,
The name of a pathetic Anna.
So I won't settle for the spot of second best,
I won't compete,
I will never hold it in my chest,
And do, what was done by once called Anna.
It's been years now,
I forgot and forgave,
But one thing I hold with me still,
Is I'll be anyone, I'll do anything...
But I won't be an Anna.
Fighting evil with evil,
Will leave no good.
Will you fight for the sake of fighting,
Will your well be understood.
Will we wellingly be well,
Or will we create a second hell.
For all the angels that have fell.
In the evil of evil men.
Moon light, aircrafts and stories of an ex.
Drop me home in the morning at six.
South beach coffee in paper cups.
On your arms I was looking up.
I look at you and see uncertainty,
I look at us and see you and me.
More coffee, board games and a misfit bunch.
Long drives and skipping lunch.
Stay with me if I go, don't put an X
Close your month and pick me up after six.
I, am!
I will not riot
I'd think and believe I know God the most,
And a return is a must for a cycle to end, A return is a must but she'll only be your friend,Resrved, unhinged, not bothered. A careless mother to a child you fathered.
I still don't know who you are
Are you near or you live so far.
As cliche the rhyme above
I have been waiting for that final love.
But this is my first and final letter to you,
Cause I don't believe real love is true.
I have waited patiently I even went to look
To see where the hell is my guy, searched every book.
I have tried, I failed and then tried again
But finding you is a loss with no gains.
Each one of them took so much and gave nothing
Gave me trauma, fears and a sense of not belonging
It started when I though you were my high-school sweetheart.
But the mother fucker tore my heart apart.
Then my perfect 10 of wasted years,
Got nothing but an endless river of tears.
Took my time since I though he was All Love Is
Him cheating, betrayed and myself... A mess.
I looked for you in all the wrong places,
Some were handsome but many with ugly faces.
Looked for you in different religions
Finding you became an obsession.
Singles, unavailable, married and with kids
I seeked you on the roads and looked under people's beds.
Sportsmen, doctors, bankers and engineers
You are not one of them, are you here?
Tall, short and different ages
First drafts or empty pages.
Are you here or in the land of the dead
Are you real or are you just a thought in my head.
I have looked for you in every book,
Looked everywhere till there was no place to look.
So I say no more,
This is not what I'm made for.
I would've loved to be love and feel the high
But I'm so damaged I'm way too good at goodbyes
I would've loved to find a home,
Find you and call you my own.
But you're not real,
You're not out there...
So goodbye my unknown lover,
Goodbye for now, goodbye my forever.
We could've been great,
But it's too late.
I'm too tired of this,
Lucky for you, this is a bliss.
As a little girl I loved to read,
As a big one now I read everyone.
It started with books, they where what I need,
Now I can read it all even the "solid" ones.
I fell in love with characters far beyond their words,
Start writing words after my own heart beat.
I learnt music, and strum along all given chords,
Became the lead signer; and the audience at their seat.
I write...
I right!
I see the darkness in the light.
I said this before...
But shan't say it no more.
They come in pairs,
But yet! You always end up with one!
I just want somebody to take his place.
If I die, and when I die
Don't Cry...
Don't shed a tear,
Instead smile.
Don't share my photos
Don't go deep in what I write,
You didn't care then.
So don't care now, right!
Death is in many ways,
Death is slow.
Sometimes it's sudden,
And sometimes you know.
So please, don't miss me when...
I finally go to sleep.
This is just a poem,
Don't go in this too deep.
The strangest about me... The strangest things he says
He says I'm a cold hearted person or so he say
Therefore he left me, therefor he said.
He left me cold heartedly, he had to leave me in any way
If I was wrong... If I wronged him in any way
He can go... Go and tell people the games that I play
A game that no one can take part of; The games I have played
But there was no games, there was no coldness just random things he say.
But if only, if only you knew
The strangest things that come out of the blue
The strangest of what he say is far from the truth
I say nothing... But he makes it look like hell is what he went through
Why do we become artists?
Why do we pick a pen?
Why do we have the talent?
Why do we have the skill?
We make beautiful things,
We become beautiful people...
We colour the world,
And give a story to an eagle
But we are not seen,
We are not there.
We walk in life
Like we don't breathe air
We got the skill,
And it is hell.
To be able pain on the world as we see it.
Or write the words so many are afraid to speak it.
We get lost in a glass,
We find ourselves there to...
What the world can't give us,
Alcohol beings it true.
I have loved them and I have loved them never...
I have told no lies, and no lie ever.
I never played games, and I play games always
I remember them everyday and I forget them all days
I have loved them all, and loved no one at all
I have been real, and real is not my call
I have cared, I have not
I have cried, I smile... but
I but a mere shadow on a wall
A figure casted from a flickering light
I who stands tall
Is as dark as a moonless night
People are fooled by the light I shine,
People are amazed of how everything is fine.
They think they know what they see,
They want this little spark in me.
I don't go around talking about ghosts,
Or talk about the things that scares me the most.
I don't let myself feel low,
As much as you know you don't really know.
So to the next thing or the next someone please read this through
Don't walk in my life, say you stay then leave out of the blue.
I am a girl who lost more than she gained,
And to my dark self I am forever chained.
Yes the parties, the friends and the name,
What you think and who I am are not the same.
So please look out on the way out,
Don't go knocking things over take another route.
I'm always hearing that I am so special,
But why can't I get something official.
Or they I can so much better,
This is gold it is not a glitter.
I wish the next can be what I need,
I wish the next is a good seed.
I'm sick of opportunists,
Tired of sounding like a Buddhist.
I don't know how I look to other, but
I just a little luck and a lot of love.
I am as strong as I look,
You have to experience me, you can't read me as a book.
"What do you think will happen when I die!" she wonders to herself,
"Will I be remembered, do I want them to even remember me?".
"And if I do die and my soul will leave this race, will I go to a better place?" "Will I stay here long, or just long enough" "If I die... will I go in peace or will it be rough?"
....
Life is short, shorter than we think kid,
Get those questions out of your head,
Soon but not soon enough we all shall be dead
Speak well and don't mind what they said.
The mind of a broken child never heals,
No miracles or change of the wheels,
You have to go through what you have to through
And behold the grown up you are going to turn into
The world needs broken people cause they're always trying to heal,
themselves, others, the world around them... for they know how it feels.
No matter the walls, the armours and what they use as shields.
They grow a thinker skin, yes! but not a heart of steal.
We are children who asks big questions, waiting for answers
we go through life like it's a dance and we are the dancers
We become the cure not our own but other people's cancer
We don't need the world so we think about leaving it,
But it needs us... see how that fits!
Yes... the answer is yes
You will be remembered the world's always remembers are kind
Cause the children who survived are hard to find.
They bring the colours in this world with their beautiful mind.
They are always the ones who leave something good behind.
They're the two faced,
The Twins.
They are the talkative,
The thicker skins.
They sweep you away with lies,
That once where true.
They change their minds, get stuck,
Then change again out of the blue.
They're the joy, the fun
and the endless laughter.
They have so much to offer,
You won't expect what comes after.
They're a sun sign, they are a sign,
They are a constellation in the sky.
They like space and no reason,
They tell the truth and it'a a lie.
They're Twins, they're the duo
They are two people in one.
They can be great as long as they want,
Until they decide it isn't fun.
It's true...
There's no where to go when you hit rock bottom,
It's when all hell breaks loose, It's the unbearable abuse.
But you have to choose...
When the pain stops, and soon it will...
Will you stay, or escape this hell.
The people down here are rude and unkind,
They're like a different species not from my kind.
Who knows maybe you'll find some good, or no good you might find.
It's the rock bottom, it's the lowest point in life,
A lot like the dead sea, A lot like loosing me...
The weather is dry and it is hot,
Everyone says they're someone they're not.
Broken hearts here and broken souls everywhere.
Wherever I go, wherever I turn,
There's a corner for me to burn,
I'm I too much for this world, I'm I not enough
The thought alone isn't easy it is rough.
Like one once said,
Your phases never end...
Rock bottom my old friend,
I can't sell off what is for rent.
Words come from dark places,
You write when no one listens.
Hunted by all the faces,
This place feels like a prison.
I didn't know I can hurt again,
I didn't know I can write,
I thought I lost my pen,
It all felt right.
I warned thee, do not go for me,
I am but trouble; they all leave.
I have caused trouble and trouble what I went through.
I just did not expect to fall for you.
At the beginning it's always fun,
I did not know this was a fight.
I have to tell you; you won!
You just didn't end it right.
I keep repeating all that you said,
I keep repeating them all in my head.
I remember everything detail when I lay in bed...
You showed me.... You Won!
It was a revenge I presume,
Of my lack of attention back then.
What else can I assume,
Someone else maybe, now that's grim.
It was served cold as revenge should be,
I thought it should have a little of spice, silly o'l me.
I guess this is it,
Oh how I regret....
I'm a physical matter,
Do you know what happens when you mix science and spirituality...
No reads my poems, poetry is dead.
They talk about black magic and voodoo,
They do things they're not suppose to do.
It's not like wizards and witches.
Just greedy folks and too many bitches.
Speak of it they won't ; but do they shall,
And turn around and blame that innocent gal.
I have seen more evil here in this lifetime,
And I lived many lives and still in my prime.
But nothing compares to here and now,
Nothing can be said to a scared cow.
You will take the girl your mum says yes to,
You're not into her and she's not into you...From all the gods and goddess through out history
Their powers, their aura and their mystery.I fall for you by the way you are,
Close or far.If I lose my senses and go blind,
My heart would still find yours.It's a curse...
Not a sonnet nor a verse,We're the clash of Autumn and Spring... Summer and winter.
We are at odds, we're in the centre.Sometimes mistakes look good,
Sometimes sadness is a smile,Spray paint all the walls in the city,
Tag it with your signature too.If I can play the game,
He can play it better.- In fact... It looks a lot like this park we're sitting in.
- With trees, flowers and leaves with holes in'em
"really?!"
- Yeah, and there's a bench too... and a girl laying down staring at a leaf and having this conversation with you. ...
What looks like having fun and innocent smiles,
Is in fact war stories told by a child.